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Swallowing Razors - Bones fanfiction

Title: Swallowing Razors
Author: Doc_3
Pairing: B/Bish
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Anything up to this week’s ep is fair game
Summary: I of II of missing scene ficlets from Con Man in the Meth Lab

A/N:  A little mini ficlet of a missing scene that swirled around in my head all weekend.  Thanks to my f-list for the gobs of encouragement they've heaped my way to get me writing again.  This may not be an epic masterpiece, but it felt good to put words on paper (well, onscreen if we must be technical about it ...)

 

 

I.

His heart was pounding so loud in his ears that he felt as though the ear drums should burst to relieve the pressure. But his hands never shook.

Bones!”

He felt rather than heard her thump to the ground, his eyes never leaving the sheriff or his hostage. Rule number one was to never take your eyes off the target. He tried to angle his head so he could see her in the periphery of his vision without turning his head.

Bones!”

At her answer, he felt his vision narrow on the target, everything else fading away as he closed in.

***

Slowly he reached in the car and withdrew the man’s weapon and observed him for a moment. Dead. Even the agonal breathing had stopped – a shot appeared to have severed the carotid.

Turning slowly, he could see her standing in the fading light, a bit paler but with her chin still lifted defiantly. The blood was running down her hand, dripping onto the white concrete, and seeping slowly through the fingers of the hand she pressed to the wound.

Everything around him faded once more, the shotgun and pistol were placed on the grass. Grasping both sides of her face in his hands, he held her there, lowering his forehead to hers. He inhaled her for a moment, allowing himself this measure of comfort that she was okay.

***

Cam found him leaning against the high counter in front of the ER nursing station.

“Next time, try to leave a more cryptic message.”

“Sorry. I didn’t want to scare you.”

Taking in the blood on his shirt and the hard lines around his mouth, she let it be at that.

“Yours?” She tried to gesture nonchalantly at the brownish stain on the blue oxford.

“Hers. It was a single shot, through and through, to the upper arm. The orthopedic guy is in there now looking at it, to make sure there’s no muscle damage. ER doc wanted to consult a plastic surgeon but she told him if he could sew it up straight she wouldn’t need plastic surgery.”

Cam was struck by a sudden urge to weep for this man. He was trying to make a joke about his partner’s notoriously prickly nature while his eyes were drenched in guilt.

Her compassion and tears were the last things he needed, she knew better than to offer those.

“I need to know exactly how this happened to one of my people in the field, Booth.”

“You will have my report on your desk by tomorrow, Camille.” He straightened and matched her tone of professionalism.

“Excellent. Now tell me what really happened.”

His eyebrow asked the question for him.

Softening her voice she repeated, “What really happened out there, Booth?”

A long sigh and then he answered, “I had a pump-action shotgun on him, couldn’t fire because he had a hostage. Bones grabbed my sidearm and held it on him as we advanced. She must have taken her eyes off of him long enough to give him an opening. I saw him swing the barrel her way but still could fire. She was down and he made a go for the car, and then pushed the hostage out into the street as he tried to drive off. I stopped him.”

“This is not your fault, Seeley.”

His only answer was a snort. “Make sure you call my boss and tell him.”

She didn’t answer, instead turning to face the curtained off exam room where the muted voices of Brennan and one of the physicians could be heard. They stood in silence as the minutes stretched out, and Cam waged a silent battle with the voice in her head. They reached a compromise and she turned back to him, now facing his profile.

“How long can you do this, Seeley?” she whispered.

“Do what, Camille?” his voice was flat, but she saw him swallow hard then clench his jaw.

“How long can you let her scare years off your life without owning up to your feelings?”

She thought he wasn’t going to answer. And a part of her was terrified she’d pushed too much, said too much, implied too much. He wasn’t one to allow people – even friends – to poke around in an area of his life he had deemed off-limits. Cam knew she was now firmly in off-limit territory – his feelings for his partner.

“As long as it takes.”

End Part I

Part II


 

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
tempertemper
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:46 am (UTC)
*dances*

Doc fic!! I was so excited to see this in my inbox, I can't tell you and it's fabulous...

I adored Cam in this ep and this is the perfect continuation.. you pitched this perfectly and the dialogue is spot on.

*hugs this fic*

Poor Booth - but this is so him: “As long as it takes.”

This is wonderful, sweetie - and it's so good to see you back! :)
doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 12:41 am (UTC)
*smooshes you*

Thanks so much - I was so nervous about posting it's been so long. I still feel a little rusty but it was awesome getting words to flow like that.

*hugs*
bertie456
Nov. 17th, 2008 12:18 pm (UTC)
*echoes TT's comments about the awesomeness of Doc fic* :D :D

This was so good! Loved the interaction with Cam, especially “Excellent. Now tell me what really happened.” since it seemed to be exactly how she'd approach the situation.

(Random aside: I'm ridiculously happy about the growing presence of Cam in fics. Yay that other people like her too now. *g*)

Also love the last paragraph and the last line: perfectly written. Yay that you're writing again!

doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
*grins* I'm so in the Cam camp now it isn't funny! I love her to death after this ep so I'm with you on hoping to see much more of her in fics.

The last line gave me a fit so *huge sigh* I'm so glad it worked.

*hugs* thanks for all the awesome encouragement!
britt_1975
Nov. 17th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
OMG *SQUEE* I was so excited when I saw this on my flist... and then... *flail* I read this line: Grasping both sides of her face in his hands, he held her there, lowering his forehead to hers. and I thought that it's really weird that you have a camera in my head. EVERYTIME I've watched that scene, right before it fades out... THIS is what I expect to see... while I would have been *DED* if there had been a kiss... THIS, EXACTLY THIS that you wrote... is what would have been so completely perfect for the moment.

I'm sorry I keep yelling... but... really, I can't possibly convey my complete and utter love of this without the capslock.

And how much do I love Cam and her forthrightness, and his response... so much freaking love I can't stand it. I'm going to go read again (and again) and then wait patiently for more... 'cause you did say I of II and I'm so completely excited for more!!!

*memories*
doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)
You are a riot! I have this huge goofy grin on my face from reading your comment.

I'm so totally with you on that scene - I've watched it several times and I swear they must have cut something out. THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE DAMN IT! (That's what I kept yelling at my poor tv).

There is a Part II, but it's not exactly a continuation ... more like an addendum. There is another missing piece to this ep that I just had to write. Hopefully will post soon.

*hugs*
labsquint
Nov. 17th, 2008 09:41 pm (UTC)
First of all, so glad to see that you've put hands to keyboards after you've expressed trouble getting going with your writing again. Sometimes it just takes a little push to get the inspiration going and if this ep did it, then hurrah! Now I like it even more (and that's saying something because I liked it a lot!)

First of all, to me there was a big gaping hole in this episode. I know, I know, there's only 42 minutes to tell the tale, but there really was room to see the immediate reaction to this shooting (I would have gladly given up time with Jared to see more of this...). So both at the scene and later at the hospital, you've nicely filled in some missing moments.

The way you've sketched Booth before and right afterwards is wonderfully intense. He felt his vision narrow on the target, everything else fading away as he closed in. The man knows that he has a job to do and he'll get it done. But he can only do it well once he knows his partner is not seriously hurt. Then he uses the intensity of his own fear as a weapon. And it works like a charm.

Grasping both sides of her face in his hands, he held her there, lowering his forehead to hers. He inhaled her for a moment, allowing himself this measure of comfort that she was okay. This...this was what we were all waiting to see. It didn't need to be an over the top moment, but the intensity that you've shown in this moment is really wonderful. I wish we'd seen just this in canon.

I like Cam and I like the way she appears in this fic. For starters, she's sassy, even in a crisis: “Next time, try to leave a more cryptic message.” And this line particularly struck me: Cam was struck by a sudden urge to weep for this man. He was trying to make a joke about his partner’s notoriously prickly nature while his eyes were drenched in guilt. This is the Cam that we saw in the Pathology Suite, the one who called Booth 'Big Man' and tried not to break down because her heart was breaking for him. I love this Cam...what a great friend she is. And what a great way to so clearly draw Booth's agony following the shooting. Very nicely done.

But for me, the best part of this missing scene was Cam actually have the guts to ask the question we'd all like to ask: “How long can you let her scare years off your life without owning up to your feelings?” And Booth's answer is very telling. He doesn't play dumb, not with Cam; he actually owns up to the truth. And in admitting “As long as it takes.” he has, for the first time, admitted something out loud that one wonders for how long he has admitted to himself.

Very nicely done, and I'm looking forward to Part II....

ETA: As long winded as I am, you'd think I'd get it all in one go, right? Apparently not. The other thing I wanted to mention is that I really like the title you've chosen for this piece. It's expressive and it perfectly sets the mood and has the reader slightly off balance right from the beginning. Very good choice!

Okay...I'll shut up now! ;)

Edited at 2008-11-17 09:49 pm (UTC)
doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
You write such great reviews *hangs head in shame* - I'm a terrible reviewer in comparison :)

Seriously, thanks so much for taking the time to chew on this a little bit. (I really did feel rusty). I'm glad that I'm not the only one that felt very strongly about that scene right after she was shot. Not showing them connecting in some way at that moment was a real injustice - and it just felt wrong.

And Cam has turned into one of my favorite characters this season, with this ep cementing that. If anyone can ever point out the obvious to Booth - it will be Cam.

And the title ... Throughout writing this - and while watching the ep - I felt like Booth was having to absorb or "swallow" a lot of pain for a lot of things, both in the present and in the past. I'm thrilled beyond belief that the title works.

Thanks a million for such a great - and detailed - review. You're the best!
labsquint
Nov. 18th, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)
You write such great reviews *hangs head in shame* - I'm a terrible reviewer in comparison :)

Thank you...and you're welcome. A good review is not supposed to make you feel guilty though. I just know the kind of meaty reviews I like and I always try to return the favour because I know other authors like it too...
iam_space
Nov. 18th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
Oh I love this, doc!
What a way to fill in the gaps... and you inspired something in me, hon. I'd love to share with you this idea that popped in my head while reading this - maybe you could incorporate it or, if not, I may try to develop it. If you're interested, drop me a line! :)
Loveloveloved the forehead moment and the interaction with Cam... maybe she is to Booth what Ange is to Bren? Cam didn't have the nerve/heart/whatever to say to Bren (about Jared) what Ange did. And now she's telling Seeley like it is. Good woman!
Welcome back!
~S
doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
*dies over that icon*

So glad you liked! I'm totally open to any ideas but don't not develop it yourself - I'm sure you would do a fantastic job.

I'm glad my Cam was so well-received - I'm loving her character more each ep.
iam_space
Dec. 3rd, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
Hey I know it's been a while on this, but the idea is still niggling at me... I will probably be e-mailing you about it soon, k??
doc_3
Dec. 3rd, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
'k! Look forward to it.
iam_space
Jan. 26th, 2010 04:39 am (UTC)
I'm LMAO because it's now been OVER A YEAR... and this idea is still with me. I have it mostly written now in fact. If I can get this finished up in the next few days would you be willing to give it a once-over for me?! I can e-mail you with more specific reasons for why I'm requesting you look at it for me... but the main one is that it kinda falls in between your two parts here and does incorporate Cam's words to him (and his reply) in this first part. Let me know, hon. Of course, nothing will be published without your express permission and with FULL credit given to you. :)
doc_3
Jan. 26th, 2010 10:40 pm (UTC)
I am now LMAO, because I had totally forgotten this whole discussion.

I would be thrilled to look over it - do you still have my yahoo email address?

Just send it to me there. I can't wait!
alias_jems
Nov. 18th, 2008 10:05 am (UTC)
am jumping over from TT journal where this ficlet was mentioned...i love it and following Cam's meddlings in this weeks episode I can just about imagine her saying this to Booth. I am really falling for her character lately, she's so constant and so perfectly in tune with everyone with some profound understanding of each of her colleagues. What a boss!

By the way you nailed her character from the quip when she arrived "Next time, try to leave a more cryptic message" to her professional request for a report to "Now tell me what really happened.". Perfect Cam!

I love that she and Booth have this history, it brings so many possibilities to their relationship and could give us a lovely moment like this one you wrote....should the writers choose to be so nice of course. She couldn't tell Brennan (but Ang could) but I bet she could tell Booth. :)

I'll keep an eye out for part 2. :)
doc_3
Nov. 18th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Awesome - so glad you jumped over here! I totally love Cam now and I hope to see a lot more of her in fic. She is really the only person on the show that really knows Booth, and I'd love to see that played out more (obviously, judging by my fic).

Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting, I'm so glad that you felt this was true to the characters.
alias_jems
Nov. 19th, 2008 07:33 am (UTC)
She is really the only person on the show that really knows Booth,
You know before this week I would have argued Brennan knows him but after Con Man these words are so true it's almost shocking. I guess I'd never really thought about it before but Cam really does know him. It's really rather nice. Maybe Brennan will realise this and learn from her boss.
doc_3
Nov. 19th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
Brennan could learn a lot from Cam, I think. Especially after this week. But like she said, she was distracted by Jared (all plumage and baubles - he was yummy looking) but realized, however belatedly, that Booth was the one with substance. She's always been a terrible judge of men, so this was no surprise. But now that she's seen the light ...
only_more_love
Nov. 19th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
I haven't read this yet; it's on my list for this afternoon. But I just wanted to pop in here and tell you how happy I was to see this. I know you've been writing HP fic, which is great because it makes you happy. As a friend, that makes ME happy. But since I'm selfish and greedy, I'll confess I'm thrilled you've written -- and posted -- something for Bones. *g*

Can't wait to read this! I'm so glad Con Man got something clicking in your brain. ♥
doc_3
Nov. 19th, 2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
It's totally okay to be selfish and greedy - I'm that way about all of your fics!

Bones is still my great love, and it was so much fun getting back in the heads of these characters.

*hugs*
only_more_love
Nov. 19th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
But his hands never shook.

Of course they didn't. That's our Booth - a trained professional who knows how to do his job, even when he's worried about his partner. ♥

ER doc wanted to consult a plastic surgeon but she told him if he could sew it up straight she wouldn’t need plastic surgery.

Can I just say that this sentence gave me a chuckle? It's just like Brennan to say something like that, something extremely matter-of-fact, bordering on acerbic. I love how you conveyed that here, even secondhand. :)

Her compassion and tears were the last things he needed, she knew better than to offer those.

This is lovely; Cam tries to give her friend what she thinks he needs, instead of merely succumbing to the feelings that are rising in her.

It is a testament to their friendship that Booth opened himself enough to say this: “As long as it takes."

Excellent work, honey. I really, truly enjoyed this.
doc_3
Nov. 19th, 2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
*grins like a loon*

Thanks a billion times over. This was so much fun to write, mostly because I adored Cam in this ep and wanted to give her more air time. She's the piece we've been missing - someone who is Booth's friend first, and who's loyalties lie with him. Sort of like Sid's replacement. (Although I did love Heavy D).

Thanks so much for such lovely comments *hugs*
limone1
Nov. 19th, 2008 09:24 pm (UTC)
I can't believe I forgot to tell you how much I love Cam in this fic! I've always liked her as a character (ok, far from thrilled that she got together with Booth when she first appeared on the show...) She's a complex person, one foot in the lab and one in the 'real' world. She is good at reading people and you really capture that here.
doc_3
Nov. 19th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
TT has been a huge addition to the show - although I totally agree that I didn't love her at first, that's for sure. But she has really been awesome since then and I love the friendship she has with Booth. Yay Cam!
makd
Feb. 22nd, 2010 11:03 pm (UTC)
Wow! Just...wow! Taut, tense, and I am off to read part 2. (Brava!)
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )